It’s like a sad traveling circus in a Breaking Bad Winnebago arriving in Southern Mississippi selling Black Lives Matter T Shirts. The little red engine that couldn’t has run out of Labor which used to finance the entire weekend, Big Ticket Guest Speaker #FraudFests — at least those conferences used to have value added meaning. Today, though, they are tragic blips on elderly radars of washed up old men whom still grovel and become giddy when the name Mickey Snow is mentioned. It is the #Epic Train Wreck that the Industry did to itself like a bad George Santos campaign ad nightmare with his campaign sign still in your yard. I mean, we all knew it was only a matter of time when National Association of Mortgage Field Services (NAMFS) President Matt Zoldowski sold Property Preservation Wizard to Verisk. Unless you lived under a rock, were not actually performing physical labor, or were a NAMFS member; we all knew that the fix was in. The election was related to me like some re-run episode of the Wonder Years during the NAMFS Sims Conferences throughout COVID. With that said, NAMFS has become an association of product suppliers whose membership dues look eerily like lobbying fees or Super PAC donations in a post Citizens United era. I like to use the colloquial term of criminal enterprise — with a wink and a nod — in that I have been stonewalled from receiving the NAMFS IRS Form 990, which is federally required to be presented, upon request, by nonprofit organizations to members of the public. NAMFS has claimed to be an IRS 501(c)(6) business league and unless that has changed, if it smells like racketeering, well that could be what it is! The reality is that Eric Miller, NAMFS Executive Director, has been too fearful to answer questions, for several years now.
As the stellar rise of product suppliers swarmed NAMFS, so too did the alleged Industry requirements which all seemed to depend upon the deep pocketed product providers. And for those whom believe that this is far fetched, go no further than the removal of the storied history of Guest Speakers with an entire day packed only with Verisk, to put it bluntly. All bullshit aside, the two or three hug-a-thons that are listed are primarily backslapping pundits appearing on stage to stroke each other’s ego. Here is an excerpt from the January NAMFS Newsletter,
NAMFS and Co-Host Sponsor, Verisk, are excited to reconnect with all levels of the mortgage field service industry May 22-23, 2023 at the Embassy Suites Lake Buena Vista South.
Verisk, the co-host? Sugar daddy is more like it. And make no mistake whatsoever that NAMFS President Zoldowski is milking their fat teat into the arid NAMFS coffers in a last ditch effort to stay afloat. Still thinking I am off the reservation? Get a calculator ready and start adding up all the NAMFS “opportunity” fees and it gets pretty close to the amount that Eric Miller needs for his salary. In fact, Verisk’s $10,000 payment traps all NAMFS #FraudFest members to an Infomercial nightmare, spanning both days of the #FraudFest, and is, quite frankly, pathetic even for Eric Miller, NAMFS Executive Director. More on that, in a moment. First, let’s look at the fees NAMFS is pushing out like some Putinesque dope dealer in Somalia. In typical NAMFS member chargeback fashion, these fees below are considered to be Opportunities,
General Session Room Sponsor w/Seat Covers: $10,000. Wow! I mean is there sponsorship for the toilets without seat covers?! Are we going to see condom and sanitary napkin machines in the bathroom, like some dingy truckstop bathroom in Skokie, Illinois, branded with a NAMFS two for one special?! Anyway, Opportunity Expo: $6,000. Jesus! What kind of opportunity I am almost afraid to ask! Welcome Reception: $5,000. I can picture it now: You and Verisk welcoming weary travelers with a thousand yard stare in their eyes profusely vomiting from the Verisk Infomercial droning out attempting to sidestep the dreaded clammy flesh handshake as they reel away like a fish out of water! Registration Desk: $5000. Does this shit end? You just hit me for $400 and forced me to make the #FraudFest pilgrimage on a Monday and you want HOW MUCH for me to join the hated ones at Reception having vulgar slurs hurled at them from the bar? Vacation Giveaway: $5000. We will get into the Pat Sajak and Vanna White Timeshare hosting in a bit. NAMFS Gives Back Volunteer Outing: $4,500. What in the fuck?! It is a Volunteer Outing for Christ’s sake! Hell, it’s cheaper to get plowed at the bar and pay for the DUI!
Next up, and we have two of these, is the Networking Lunch: $4,000. I sure as hell know that caviar is illegal to import from Russia and the kind of sushi that these veterans — yes, we are now considering this an active deployment zone — isn’t served by the pool. We have two, yes count them two opportunities at the General Session: $2,500. Building on that, like some Jewelry TV presentation at 308 am that turns on, blaring, as your homeless father-in-law blows up your toilet, we have four, that’s right I did not stutter, four opportunities for Raffle Prize: $1,500.
For the first time in history getting the gold is cheaper than fucking with NAMFS members: Gold Level Sponsor: $1,000. Silver Level Sponsor: $800. And if you want to pull a Russian doping scandal threefer, you can get the Bronze Level Sponsor: $600. Me? Personally, I related the Gold, Silver, and Bronze trifecta more like when one wakes up after a night of drinking to find vomit, piss and shit all over himself.
If the Trump Towers pricing hasn’t got you thinking about just sending the $400 for a ticket and calling in with the COVID tripledemic of COVID, Flu, and RSV, here is how you are going to be greeted after a horrible flight and some 6 year old whining about Barnie while kicking your seat from behind like a walk on NFL field goal kicker. Fresh off your flight, from 5pm to 6pm, Verisk pushes out their Take Advantage of Field Service Technologies. We do not know if this will be from a bullhorn or what, but will keep you in the loop. The reality is that most folks trudging in on a Monday afternoon — yet another display of the dark financial situation NAMFS is in as it is a weekday — simply want a stiff drink and a dark corner to get hammered while the horrible cover band blares out The Sultans of Swing. Verisk, though, will have no part of that. When they bought PPW, the reality is that they thought they were cornering the market in a lucrative business. The reality, though, is that this Industry has always been nothing but Blue Skying! And if you think Verisk isn’t going to give you an ear banging, like some psychotic Salvation Army captain at the homeless shelter before your free meal, you are sadly mistaken!
Tuesday, Verisk is back at it, hard and heavy, pushing out the agenda like a grotesque Timeshare host. The only problem here is that there is no weekend resort to drown one’s sorrows at. Here is the verbatim quote for the sessions after the earth shattering Industry Pricing Initiative Update which only a handful of people supported and went straight into the pockets of other lobbyists over at Gate House Strategies,
Verisk Sponsored Sessions:
- Proper Scoping To Maximize Approvals: What is the best way to scope a bid and avoid receiving a return order or a denial.
- Scope To Dollars: Create a complete and accurate bid to maximize your profit.
- Investor/Insurer Panel: This panel will address why scoping and bidding is so important. Hear from the individual investors on what they want included in a scope and bid as well as why they want to see it.
If you still have not been admitted to the ER or passed out from a coma, the Verisk — err, NAMFS — Infomercial might have been just what the accountant ordered as they were tallying up your potential for Involuntary Bankruptcy. The reality is that a conference which honestly begins at 5pm on a Monday — because NAMFS could not afford a weekend event — to the sounds of white noise, in an echo chamber, only to be repeated the next day by more of the same is not dissimilar to Chinese Water Torture or perhaps chewing on aluminum foil with fillings. I believe that the 8th Amendment and the Geneva Convention outlaws events like these, but I am not completely sure. NAMFS, like the sad and forlorn clown of yesteryear’s travelling circus, is simply nothing more glamours than the Traveling Timeshare assholes whom couldn’t cut it as actors watching the paint dry in B rate thrillers. To that point, it is not at all ironic that they picked Florida to hustle your $400 — think timeshares here. The icing on the cake, just like the timeshare assholes, is the $4,000 vacation package offered at the end.
But wait! There’s more ways to part your money from your wallet! If you want to pay Eric Miller and his marauding band of merry huxters FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS you get to play Pat Sajak and Vanna White as you draw the vacation package winner! I mean you just cannot make this shit up!
It gets better, though. I am not sure what Miller and his pals at Verisk were smoking, but the #FraudFest hotel is not exactly the top of the line. If they weren’t getting high, they damn sure should have been! In fact, it strikes me more as end of the road. Look, I get it! Times are tough and NAMFS had to pull out all the stops on this last rodeo — lipstick on the pig and all. It kinda makes me sad, though, honestly. I used to wake up each day with a smile on my face and a quick in my step to get the NAMFS reporting day underway. Now, I feel like I am in a battle with Alzheimer patients at a hospice care center. And that really is not that far from the truth, what with all the NAMFS members whom have been dying or going bankrupt over the past several years. The reality is that there are not many NAMFS member firms whom have owners born after the turn of the century. Granted, they partied like it was 1999 — with Labor’s money as we saw in the Involuntary Bankruptcy of NFN — but the reality is the days of Robert Klein have been dead and gone for years — no pun intended!
Doctors know when to retire; band members know when its time to call it quits after the 11th farewell tour; and hell, even street walkers know when the lipstick isn’t going to work anymore. Apparently, NAMFS hasn’t gotten the Memo yet. Foreclosurepedia simply figured we would advise them. It’s been real, Eric Miller, but the time has come. The time has come to stop the crony capitalism; the time has come to allow open and honest elections by the NAMFS membership for the Executive Directorship; and the time has come to face your infamy. They say give the Devil His Due — and we all know that Klein called me the Great Satan — and when you make those deals, they come due. It was a war you could not win and no one is going to condemn you for your total and completely abysmal failure put forth attempting to destroy myself and Labor. I mean you and your bankrupt NAMFS Secretary Heather Berghorst both threatened litigation against myself and Foreclosurepedia and all you got was a PR nightmare like Victor Deutch — you remember him Eric, Nott’s homie! You bought the ticket and took the ride when you first put my name and that of Foreclosurepedia on your NAMFS Meeting Agenda over a decade ago. Sadly, you didn’t even get to ticket punch along the way. Take a bow, shake some hands and get the free, watered down drink you serve, to everyone else on the way out. Hell, who knows, on your way out, you might even pass maintenance on their way up to snake the shower drain!
Editor’s Note: A previous copy of this article contained references to a hotel by the same name, up the road from where the NAMFS 2023 Conference will be at. It has been removed due to no request from anyone. It simply had the same name, was located within minutes of the other one, and we felt it was better to be pro-active and remove it. We apologize if anyone would base their failure to attend the Conference on the hotel review as it is the least of your financial worries.